21 Words Of WTF
by Midnight Raining Down
Summary: Somewhere in the world, Santa slapped his juicy thigh and Vexen breakdanced magnificently. If you didn't know that, you do now, along with many other classic tales. This is the kind of crack your momma warned you about. A colab with Naive-Symphony
1. PROLOGUE

A FOREWARNING

The following story does not make sense, is in all caps, and was written at 12/1 in the morning with Naive-Symphony.

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**Prologue**

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"I LOVE YOU ZEXION!" BODY BUILDER URSULA SCREAMED.

"ME TOO," GOOFY ADDED.

"I LIKE KITTENS," ZEXION SAID, HUMPING URSULA FROM BEHIND.


	2. ONE

"WHO SHALL PAINT MY ROSES RED?" MARLUXIA WEEPED IN A PIT OF DESPAIR.

"I SHALL!" YEN SID DECLARED, RUNNING UP TO MARLUXIA AND HITTING HIM WITH A SPORK.

"OH BABY," MARLUXIA MOANED.

"YOU ARE SO MAGICAL," ONLOOKER PETE SAID WITH TEARS IN HIS NOSTRILS.


	3. TWO

"I LOVE THE WAY YOUR DIRTY NASTY DREADLOCKS TIE AROUND MY BODY," XALDIN SAID LOOKING AT CID

"BUT WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU HAD DREADLOCKS?" CID HICCUPPED, HALF-EMPTY BEER BOTTLES SCATTERED AROUND HIM LIKE A SHRINE.

"GUESS AGAIN SWEETCHEEKS," XALDIN DECLARED, GRINNING LIKE A CREEPY OLD SOCKET PUPPET.

CID GRINNED LIKE CHRISTMAS HAD COME TWICE IN ONE YEAR AND HUGGED XALDIN UNTIL HE COULDN'T BREATHE. "I LOVE YOU GRAMMA," HE CROAKED, EYES TEARY.


	4. THREE

"THESE FUCKIN' BITCHES BE STEALIN' MY HOES" SIMBA ROARED ANGRILY AS HE WATCHED YET ANOTHER ONE OF THE PRIDE'S LIONESSES WANDER OFF WITH SOME SHADY LOOKING CHARACTER.

STOP COMPLAINING," CLAYTON SAID, LEANING OVER SIMBA IN HIS ELEVEN FOOT TALL HOOKER HEELS. "IM STILL YOUR BITCH, AND YOURE STILL MY CUDDLEMUFFIN."

"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT THE FUCK UP? MY SOAPS ARE ON," MERLIN NAGGED FROM THE COUCH, HAIR DONE UP IN VIBRANT PINK ROLLERS AS HE ATE AWAY AT A HALF-FINISHED TUB OF VANILLA ICE CREAM.

"YA, YOUR SOAPS ARE ON......ME!" MCP GIGGLED LIKE A LITTLE SCHOOL GIRL ABOUT TO KILL HER FIRST RAPIST FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. "TEE HEE HEE HEE!"

LEON WATCHED THEM ALL FROM HIS SPOT IN THE CORNER, CURLED UP INTO A FETAL POSITION AS HE ROCKED BACK AND FORTH CHANTING, "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER."

"BETTER BELIEVE IT, SISTA," SANTA SAID, SLAPPING HIS JUICY THIGH AND WALKING AROUND WITH HIS SHIRT OFF, KNOWING THAT HE WAS SO HOT COOKIES COULD BAKE ON HIS ROCK HARD ABS.

NOBODY WAS QUITE SURE WHERE AXEL WAS DURING ALL OF THIS, THOUGH NONE OF THEM REALLY CARED. IT WASN'T UNTIL THEY HEARD THE INFAMOUS SHOUT OF, "GOT IT MEMORIZED, MOTHERFUCKERS?" FROM THE STREET DID THEY REALIZE HE WAS STANDING NAKED IN THE FRONT YARD POINTING A BLOWDRYER AT THE CARS AS THEY DROVE BY.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKA," JACK THE SKELETON SCREAMED, USING HIS THIGHS OF JUSTICE TO KICK MULTIPLE KINDS OF BUTT. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVTA TELL YA? I DONT GOT NO FUCKING THING MEMORIZED!"

(BELIEVE IT ALADDIN SHOUTED IN THE DISTANCE)


	5. FOUR

"DO YOU WANNA RIDE MY DEESCO STICK?" YUNA SCREECHED LIKE A ROTTON TOMATOE PIG, HER HUGE YELLOW, GREASY HAIRY TEETH LEERING AT THE FELLOW BEFORE HER.

CHESHIRE CAT SAID NOTHING, JUST GRINNED AND GRINNED AND GRINNED. BEFORE HE REALIZED JUST HOW HARD HE'D BEEN GRINNING, HIS CHEEKS BEGAN TO RIP AND TEAR LOUDLY, AND HE EXPLODED INTO FIERY OBLIVION.

"WATCH OUT HE'S GONNA BLOW YO!" RAI WARNED FIVE SECONDS AFTER ALL HUMAN LIFE HAD BEEN KILLED.

ALICE'S HEAD APPEARED FROM A NEARBY BUSH THAT HAD SOMEHOW SURVIVED THE BLAST. SHE CRAWLED OUT OF THE SURPRISINGLY GREEN FOLIAGE AND TIPTOED AROUND THE DEBRIS IN HER FISHNET LEGGINGS.

"WHAT THE FUCK," A HORRIBLE VOICE BOOMED, "WHO DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE BE MESSING WITH ME?" IN WALKED LEXAEUS WITH ALL HIS GANGSTA GLORY. HE HAD THE TORSO OF A BODYBUILDER, THE LEGS OF A GOOSE, THE ARMS OF A NOODLE FLAPPING WILIDLY IN THE WIND, AND THE EYES THAT REFLECTED MANY MANY YEARS OF EXISTING.

VEXEN WALKED THROUGH A DECREPIT OLD DOORWAY DRAPED WITH SAPPHIRE BEADS AS HE REMOVED HIS STUNNA SHADES. "BITCH, IT IS I WHO BE MESSIN WICHOO," HE SCREAMED AT THE BEASTLY MAN WHILE HE BREAKDANCED MAGNIFICENTLY ON THE RADIOACTIVE WASTELAND.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN GET DOWN WITH IT?" TRON SAID SIMPLY, SLOWLY MOVING HIS HIPS AND SWAYING THEM SIDE FROM SIDE. "WHOSE MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD, _MINE DO!_ WHO GETS JIGGY WITH IT? _I DO_! BITCH PLEASE, DONT BE STEALING MAH TITLE!" HE PELVIC THRUSTED IN VEXEN'S GENERAL DIRECTION

JUST AS TRON WAS ABOUT TO UNLEASH HIS FINAL ATTACK OF SUPRISE BUTTSEX ONTO VEXEN, [ETE FELL DOWN FROM THE CLOUDS AND SHOOK THE EARTH WITH HIS OBESITY. TRON'S GRINDING PELVIS BOUNCED OFF OF HIS DISGUSTINGLY LARGE CHIN AND HE WAS SENT FLYING AWAY TO NEVERLAND, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN.


	6. EPILOGUE

CLOUD STARED PENSIVELY OUT THE WINDOW OF THE CLOWN CAR HE WAS SITTING IN THE BACKSEAT OF, STARING AT THE WHITE FLUFFY CLOUDS. HE OFTEN DREAMED THAT HE WAS A CLOUD; ONE WITH A BRIGHT RED GUITAR AND A LARGE SOMBRERO THAT WENT ON FOR MILES AND MILES AND MILES.

"QUIT YOUR DAYDREAMING SISSY," THE PAPOU FRUIT HISSED AS IT DROVE THE IGLOO WITH WHEELS AROUND. "I AM NOT PAID TO SIT HERE LISTENING TO YOUR STUPID WANNABE DREAMS AND WISHING YOUR BROTHER HERE COULD FUCKING TALK FOR ONCE!" IT TOOK A SMOKE FROM ITS CIGAR.

BOTH HEADS TURNED AS THEY HEARD A MOTOR REV FROM SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE. "GET OFF THE ROAD YOU FAGGOTS," BIKER ROXAS SWORE AS HE SPED PAST THE TWO VEHICLES, LEAVING BEHIND A BILLOWING CLOUD OF SMOG AND BROKEN HEARTS.

"THAT WASNT VERY NICE, DONTCHA KNOW?" THE IRISH-GERMAN DIZ ASKED, HOLDING ONTO BIKER ROXAS'S MARSHEMELLOWY ARM MUSCLES JUST FOR THE SAKE OF HAVING SOMETHING TO SINK HIS FINGERS INTO. "BUT HERR BLONDE GUY'S BROTHER WAS HOT, JA?"

"LIKE, OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, WOULD YOU PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAZE JUST LOOK AT ME FOR ONE SEC? DOES THIS PURSE MATCH MY EYESHADOW?" VALLEY GIRL XIGBAR WHINED FROM THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. HE HAD ONE SMOOTHLY SHAVED LEG DANGLING TANTALIZINGLY IN THE STREET, BECKONING ANY AND ALL TRUCKERS TO COME OVER AND GET A PIECE OF THIS.

"HEY BABY," A STRANGELING SEDUCTING VOICE MADE ITS WAY INTO XIGGY'S LUCIOUS EARLOBES. "HOW ABOUT YOU AND ME......GO KILL SOME FARMERS?" THE SEA SALT ICE CREAM ASKED, LICKING ITS LIPS AGAINST ITS DRIPPING SURFACE. IT WAS THE DEFINITION OF EVERY PERSON'S WET DREAM. ONLY SOME SAW THE ICE CREAM AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE OF SORROW, PASSION, AND STRAWBERRY LICORICE.

SOMEBODY HELP ME!" ROXAS SCREAMED FROM BIKER ROXAS' BACK POCKET. HE HAD BEEN ABDUCTED FROM HIS BATHTUB AND WAS NOW BOUND AND GAGGED AND BEING TAKEN TO DISNEYWORLD AGAINST HIS WILL.

MEANWHILE, IN A CASTLE IN THE SKY...STITCH WALKED IN FRONT OF THE STUDENTS OF HIS DANCE CLASS. "YOU INSIGNIFIGANT FOOLS!" HE BELLOWED IN A STRONG SCOTTISH ACCENT, FLEXING HIS EYEBROW MUSCLES. HE LOOKED AT HIS TOENAILS TO DETERMINE THE TIME. HE WAS LATER FOR HIS DATE WITH BODYBUILDER MULURSULA IN A BATHTUB FULL OF HOT STEAMING BUTTER.

CHICKEN LITTLE STOOD UP FROM THE GAME OF "DUCK DUCK GOOSE" THAT THE CLASS HAD BEEN PLAYING TO GO GIVE THIS GUY THE WHAT FOR. "AIN'T NOBODY TALK TO MY G'S LIKE THAT NIGGA," HE SPAT, BITCH-SLAPPING THE FREAKY LITTLE ALIEN ALL THE WAY TO ALBUQUERQUE.

"YOU SURE TOLD HIM YOU BIG HUNK OF MAN MEAT!" THE ROBOT NAMINE SAID, HER HEAD TILTED TO THE SIDE. IT KEPT ON TILTING AND TILTING UNTIL IT CRASHED THROUGH THE CASTLE AND HIT BIKER ROXAS ON THE HEAD.

A KNOCK CAME ON THE CLASSROOM DOOR AND ONE OF THE NAMELESS, MINDLESS, STUDENTS THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT AND WILL PROBABLY GROW UP TO BE A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER OPENED THE DOOR. "TRICK OR TREAT!" IT WAS SEPHIROTH, DRESSED UP AS HIS FAVORITE FRUITY FAGGOT: LANCE BASS.

THE REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER, AKA SEXY VEXY, _AKA_ SORA, ROLLED HIS EYEBALLS, STUCK UP HIS PINKY FINGER, RIPPED OFF SEPHIROTH'S MASK, TOOK HIS CANDY, AND ATE HIS LEFT ELBOW FOR GOOD MEASURE. "YUMMY!"

SUDDENLY HAYNER FLEW IN FROM THE EIGHTEENTH STORY WINDOW AND PINNED THE REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER, AKA SEXY VEXY, AKA SORA TO THE GROUND BY HIS EYELASHES. "FREEZE BITCH," HE SCREAMED INTO HIS CAPTIVE'S EAR, SHATTERING HIS EARDRUM INTO A MILLION PIECES AS BLOOD BEGAN TO OOZE FROM HIS RUPTURED INNER EAR.

AND THEN ALL THE FLYING MONKEYS CAME IN AND ARRESTED ALADDIN FOR UNAPPROPRIATE USE FOR THE PHRASE BELIEVE IT. "BETTER BELIEVE IT NOW, _BITCH_," NARUTO SNARLED.

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THE END.

....OR IS IT?

YES OR NO?


End file.
